So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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