I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
