So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
