Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
