i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
