I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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