Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
