Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
