Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
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