Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize