Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
BRING THE BAGELS
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
