Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
