It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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