ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
