And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
This is the high leading the old right now
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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