Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize