Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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