So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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