I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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