Non-Jews are for practice
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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