I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
