I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
