Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
