i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
