why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
