Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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