I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
