sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just found puke in my bra..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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