nut hugger
Apparently you make a good broom.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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