there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
