My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
