thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This baby is an asshole
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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