I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
