i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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