Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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