so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
