your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
