Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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