OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
