I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
