Already got asked if we're dating
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Randomize
