you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize