So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
