Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
