I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
