could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
