Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
