oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
