Who wears a wallet chain?!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
