If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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