some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
