Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i out mim tonsoeep
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