Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
