Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
