Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
