Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I need a burrito and a hug.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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