I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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