I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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