I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
