I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
