brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
