i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
